4 Months

Alaise is 4 months old today.  I have a difficult time fathoming how long 4 months actually is.  Watching her grow, as her eyes sparkle in recognition and interest, 4 months seem so long and so short at the same time.  She's starting to grasp at objects, loves to bat at whatever is in her way, have a strong hold on fingers, interested in watching her hands as she moves them.  She loves to smile, and the laughters are amazing.  She fusses the most when she's tired, and she often wakes up from her naps or in the middle of the night talking to herself.  The cooing in the middle of the night is frustrating, but I can't help but laugh, listening to it.  Her hair is getting long, and everyone always comments on how much of it she has.  She has a crest - her hair waves in a funny way, so it puffs up when it dries.

Breastfeeding has been my least favorite of the journey.  If I could exchange feedings with 10 poopy diapers, I would.  But I trudge on, as it is the best for Alaise.  We will be adding solid foods into the mix soon.  She rolled over on her own for the first time, although she still hates tummy time.  Watching her and Kris interact makes my heart swell, and as my daughter "flirts" with him, acting coy and shy at times, I just want to melt on the spot.  Our favorite bedtime story is Good Nigh, Sleep Tight, Little Bunnies.  Kris reads to her most nights, and even though she looks at the book here and there, she mostly focuses on Kris' voice, and looks up at him excitedly.  She loves baths, as she always has.

We've had our frustrating and challenging days.  Sometimes I just want to put her back where she came from!  (yes, I know it's impossible.)  But then she smiles at me, or I watch her sleep, and I forget why I was so frustrated. Some days, she fusses for no good reason.  I imagine most babies do this from time to time.  I wish I could read her mind and cater to her, but when she's full and changed, when I'm holding her or laying her down, or standing up or sitting down, and none of it is good enough, I just have to wait it out sometimes.

4 months has been amazing, as well as challenging and stretching.  I've learn to meal plan and make grocery lists, which I've never done.  I've meal planned for 2 weeks at a time for a month now, and it's worked out alright.  I've learned to be patient through her fussing and crying, and am still learning.  I've learned that I cherish "grown up" time with my husband after she goes to bed immensely, no matter what we choose to do.

I really do love my family and feel absolutely blessed in that regard.  My husband and baby are so precious!!

I've come to realize that writing isn't as therapeutic for me as for others.  Thus the lull in blogging.  I do have time during the day to blog if I wanted to - but during her morning nap, I always want to catch up on Facebook, reading other people's blogs, drink a cup of tea, and read emails.  The rest of the day...  I do other stuff, and blogging just doesn't pop up as a priority in my mind.  But as 4 months passed me by, I find myself wanting to record how I feel from time to time, so I can revisit them later.

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