Aftermath

Aftermath:  Hence; that which happens after, that which follows. Has a strongly negative connotation in most contexts, implying a preceding catastrophe.

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Okay, so it wasn't quite a catastrophe.  :)  But I broke into tears last night...  I'm just SO tired...  Of hurting, of second guessing how much food Alaise needs, of my cough that has lingered for three weeks...  I didn't even get to finish my tea last night, and that just really got to me!  Petty, I know.  But this DAMN COUGH is really shorting my fuse.  I've had this cough through the last week of pregnancy (I couldn't hardly get any sleep and had ribs that felt like they would explode every time I coughed), through labor & delivery (which did NOT help with the delivery part), and now through breastfeeding, sleeping baby and mom.

Also tired of being in pain.  Of course there are the obvious pain, down below, which really affects everything you do, walking, sitting, laying, coughing...  The aftermath of pushing a 14 1/2 inches of head and shoulders is not pretty by any means.  My needle bruises are slowly fading, which is good.  My belly area that was so tender from all the work that they did on my uterus has gone away mostly.  But two days ago, my left foot started hurting for no good reason.  It hurt so bad I could barely step on it, and in the middle of the night when I try to put Alaise back in the bassinet, I would have to really bite my lips not to scream in pain.  It infuriated me.  Of all things, my FOOT??  Why the hell did it start hurting?  Really!!!!

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And it's been really hard to gauge how much food Alaise needs / wants.  I really don't know how much breast milk I'm producing, but I know it's not enough yet, so I've been supplementing with formula.  Between 30ml - 60ml seems to be the trick, but she either seems hungry after a smaller feeding, or spits up after a bigger feeding.  It's so frustrating!  Plus, she's been so gassy, poor thing.  She wakes up writhing in pain, her face red and her legs pumping.  We've started using Mylicon in her formula, so we'll see how that goes - the last couple nights didn't seem to be that different...

Anyway.  Vent over. :D

And here's a photo with me in my usual mommy garb:

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Un So (not verified)

4 November 2009

엄마란 고생이구나...ㅠㅠ.. I guess I never really thought about the suffering of being a new mom... 감기 얼렁 낫고 다른 후유증도 다 싹 지나가길.. 열심히 기도할게..

4 November 2009

Hang in there, it will get better. Don't give up on feeding, maybe talking to some other breastfeeding moms would be a good support, if you know anyone. Praying that your pain/cough goes away soon so you can focus on being a mommy and not on feeling bad! Alaise is really so gorgeous, and I especially love the picture of the little feet. :)

Dane (not verified)

4 November 2009

seriously try the karo syrup now. just even half a tsp. might do the trick. you're doing an awesome job, ju. it's okay to cry too. makes you feel better :)

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